Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Places of the Soul


Rhonda with a soulful look in her eyes...

Rhonda leaves for Boise and Salt Lake City tomorrow in preparation for the couples training next week. She if offering massage therapy to help pay for our experience.

I have to admit as the couples training approaches, I feel my emotions beginning to stir. Rhonda and I don't really have secrets or any lurking issues we haven't already faced, but I know myself well enough to say my deepest vulnerabilities revolve around issues of marriage.

I can't explain my feelings for Rhonda; none of it makes sense. I love her in a way that rips into my soul and pulls out all my grief, and beauty, and rage. Sometimes I think I'll fall into a bottomless pit of PAIN and darkness if I allow myself to get too close, but when I think about leaving, my world falls to pieces. Perhaps the other side of grief and rage is LOVE. For me, the path to love passes through the dark places of my soul; sometimes it's easier to pretend I feel nothing.

I tend to feel things deeply, and as we get ready for the couples training, I prepare myself to dive in and not hold back.

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