Inge Mebes

Inge Mebes in Colville, Washington
Copyright © 2006 Barry G. Moses.

My step-mother Inge Mebes showed up at my workplace in Colville, just as my shift ended, and took me out to lunch. We rarely visit anymore, especially since my father died in 1994. But today we talked about the way things were and what it feels like to finally face old hurts. My father was a wonderful man, but he had a tendency to push and teach everything the hard way. I think my father drove himself and took on so much spiritual responsibility until it finally killed him. After I inherited his spiritual obligations, they quite nearly drove me mad until I finally stepped back and realized I can’t do everything.

I told Inge about a dream I had about my father about a year after he died. He was sitting across from me with tears streaming down his face. He said, “I’m so sorry for the way I treated you Barry. I was always driving you, and I never took the time to tell you I love you. I do love you, and I’m so proud of you.” I woke up sobbing. It was so interesting; when I told her my dream she said she had the same dream at about the same time. My father returned with a message of reconciliation for both of us.

We laughed during our conversation and several times we cried. You know, the community practically sainted my father after his death, but it felt wonderful to acknowledge the wisdom he left us and still recognize his human failings. Somehow I love him more as a result.

I’m so glad Inge stopped to visit. My life is more complete because of her.